Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Anxiety and My BFF

By Frank Eshelman


Wow, it just dawned on me that Frank is my best friend. Frank, Frank the dog, is my BFF. Is that weird? My partner was always the dog guy. What has happened to me? I have become a dog geek.

Well, back to the best friend notion. Being a rescue dog, Frank is what we might consider a "bad" dog. He barks all the time (really loud), he follows me everywhere, he bites people (especially small children, though my 87 year old father in-law doesn't come visit anymore either because Frank has taken a serious disliking to him), and he is anxious all the time. How do I know he is anxious? He cries and cries and cries. I can never figure out exactly what it is he wants or doesn't want. This makes me feel like a bad dog mother and not a very good BFF.

I really don't understand why Ollie, bad to the bone, Ollie has become so indispensable in my world. He is so beloved he gets to sleep on my bed and take up most of the room. That's true love. Okay, I am aware I sound like a nut case, so go ahead make fun, but this essay is about Ollie and Ollie's separation anxiety.

I know the following symptoms can be about anxiety:
Whining
Barking
Crying
Digging
Chewing
Soiling in the house
Diarrhea
Vomiting
Howling
Licking/Self Mutilation

It turns out, according to my dog trainer, that befriending my dog has contributed to his anxiety. He is already a pound pup which makes him predisposed to anxiety. My babying him, talking to him, treating him like he is more human than my children is messing with his security. After all, my kids don't get a treat every time they come when I call them from the backyard. My dog is special, because he gets treats just for the heck of it. I have done this so well my dog thinks I am his BFF.

That is the problem. I am his best friend, playmate, entertainment, snack maven, feeder, walker, talker. Yep, I converse with Frank all the time. Sometimes, I think he kind of knows what I am saying and gives me significant facial expressions to assure me he is listening. When I come home from work every day, he is crazy wild-barking, jumping, running up and down the hall, to jump on my bed, then turn around and race back to attack me. A few hallway laps and he finally starts to calm down, sort of.

You might have a problem with your dog like this, so I thought I would pass along some ideas my dog trainer gave me:

a) Teach the down/stay command until your pet can do it for up to 20 minutes with you out of the room.

b) After down/stay, train your dog to go outside until he can stay there without you for up to 20 or 30 minutes.

3) Then start on training your dog to stay calm while you go in and out of the front door until you can do it with the dog hardly noticing. Trick your dog by putting on your coat and sitting down for a cup of coffee or putting your keys in your pocket and then washing the dishes. Get your dog de-conditioned from being excited the second you start leaving behaviors.

You might be wondering why I haven't tried the tips I just told you about. Because I want to be Frank's BFF still and I am not ready to give that up. Selfish? Yes. Because I love him, soon I will do what my trainer suggested. Very soon. I just want to let him sleep in the middle of the bed a few more nights. Not sure I can sleep without my pal. That's my separation anxiety. I better make an appointment with a shrink, so I can learn to sit without Frank at my feet for 20 or 30 minutes at a time.




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